It's Official: I'm Too Old

"If it's too loud,
you're too old."
-- Dee Snider, lead singer of
Twisted Sister (circa 1984)

As #2 urged "The Prisoner":
"Go to the rostrum and confess!" Or in this year's popular phrase: "It's time to man up."

OK... I'm Mono, and it's official: I'm too old... Because what vibrated my entire building on the edge of the city's "entertainment district" courtesy of "Rock The Block Las Vegas" was way too loud.

Hours on end... Screams of young rage shredding vocal chords while limited guitar chord changes played in pick-splintering sixteenth notes.

It might've been death metal meets speed metal, or perhaps something else really thrashy, but remember: I'm too old now.
I have an excuse not to know, or care... Nor have I any need to apologize for seeking relief with a Pandora custom mix of sensitive singer-songwriters and acoustic string bands.

In the past I went to a couple of multi-day festivals. And although I missed out on the Beatles & Buffalo Springfield, I've seen Pink Floyd build "The Wall," had Peter Frampton over to the house, shared a headphone splitter with Greg Lake (ELP's middleman) and listened to Eric Burdon explain that if he could make a Hollywood movie it'd be a major celebrity snuff film... That night Eric drank far more from Rabbit Bundrick's wine-filled goatskin flask than he spilled.

I've toured Texas with the Commodores and sat in the courtroom audience while Sammy Hagar's stunt double did a wall-climbing back flip in the "I Can't Drive 55" video. I was in the "tastes great" section as Bruce recreated the Miller Lite debate with the LA Coliseum crowd on his return for a second week-long stand on the Born In The USA tour... Although a year apart, both shows I saw were in "Rocktober."

I stood right under the flyover sound system while leader Mick Jones explained Foreigner's crew used twice the wattage for "no dead spots" stage monitors as they did to make it loud for the crowd... And the morning after seeing Seger rock the sold out Michigan Palace, I was the guy who suggested to manager Punch Andrews that the best way to let America know why Detroit loved Bob Seger so much would be to let them hear him live... My greatest call as an amateur A&R man.

You see as an early stage Baby Boomer, I could surf the radio's giant generational wave of rock-dominated popular music. I pulled off some pretty neat tricks in the process and stretched the ride into a 30 year career in broadcasting in spite of radically changing musical tastes.

Maybe I should just play "Over Now."

Wait that's Alice In Chains... Make it the unplugged version. I'm old.