Friday, August 20, 2010

Vodka-Fueled Fiestas

Jennifer Aniston was booked to promote "The Switch," opening today.


Chelsea Lately on E!

Review: Aniston's knocked up, but no knockout

Constance Droganes, entertainment writer, CTV.ca | 8/20/10

Who knew that swapping bodily fluids could be such a bore?

Five minutes into "The Switch" and one thing is certain: Jennifer Aniston's new baby romcom won't deliver any big surprises -- especially from the perennially quirky, single woman "Friends" star.

That said there are still two good reasons not to ditch "The Switch" –and neither one includes leading lady Aniston.

Reason No. 1: Lovable loser Jason Bateman

Bateman doesn't get top billing in this tale of artificial insemination gone wrong. But Bateman steals the show here, giving "The Switch" its only real moments of poignancy or heart.

Cast as a nebbish Wall Street investment guru, Bateman seems to be nothing but a grumpy sidekick for Aniston's 40-ish heroine, Kassie Larson, as the film opens.

Career-woman Kassie wants a baby. The demanding New York TV producer also wants her BFF Wally (Bateman) to help find the perfect sperm donor.

"Hey, why not me?" Wally wonders. Frankly, we do, too. Wally's smart, loyal and secretly pines for the shallow beauty.

But superficial Kassie wants a modern-day Viking hunk (Patrick Wilson), not some moping Wall Street hypochondriac, to seed her baby.

Does she care that she wounds Wally deeply when she overlooks Wally as a potential? Not a bit.

But that decision, and Wally's accidental sperm switcheroo that follows, gives Bateman all the room he needs to leap from childish second banana to scene-stealing hero.

Unlike Aniston's heroine, Bateman's Wally is fearlessly dark. He's subtle and sobering, as the years move along and Kassie goes through with her plan.

Wally isn't easy to like. But Bateman's performance makes us care for this loser, warts and all.

Reason No. 2: Newcomer Thomas Robinson

Hollywood has been searching for that next big child star ever since Dakota Fanning grew up. That quest may have ended thanks to half-pint cutie Thomas Robinson.

As Kassie's neurotic six-year-old son, Sebastian, Robinson fires off big words and burdensome worries that would spin the heads off older actors.

"Do you worry that you have Parkinson's disease?" the wimpy pessimist asks his Uncle Wally, not realizing that this man is his father.

This kid agonizes about everything under the sun: bizarre illnesses, school bullies who could beat the crap out of him, the failing environment, even rescuing homeless animals from shelters.

Yet like Wally, this scene-stealer's heart and acting abilities override all other annoyances.

Aniston delivers no surprises

Loosely based as it is on Jeffrey Eugenides' 1996 short story, "Baster," "The Switch" certainly had potential.

Much like Jennifer Lopez's film "The Back-up Plan" and "The Kids Are All Right," "The Switch" tries to showcase the many reasons that drive women to single motherhood.

For all its good intentions, Aniston just can't make us buy the real emotional torment that goes into making a huge, life-altering decision like this.

I've seen that emotional turmoil. Last year I sat across a table from a family member who nervously announced that she was going the artificial insemination route.

Like Kassie, she was tired of waiting for Mr. Right.

Unlike Kassie, however, this woman's eyes registered all the subtle emotional gradations that went with her announcement: fear, joy, uncertainty, and hope.

Without that, Aniston's bid for parenthood in "The Switch" comes off as nothing more than an unlikeable, bumbling baby race in Jimmy Choo shoes.

Two stars out of four.

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