What Is Sexy?

Reprinted from The Erin O'Brien Owner's Manual for Human Beings.

What is sexy?

One of the things that surfaced during my research for the Real Doll story was the topic of real women.

Many of the doll owners complained that "RealGirls" just want good-looking young men or wealthy and powerful men. One even referenced Hugh Hefner and his little darlings and I laughed out loud at my computer screen.

Maybe that's fine for the trophy wives and their respective hunters, but babies, if you want to know sexy, Erin know sexy.I'm not going to give you that tired old list of looking-into-my-eyes, rubbing-my-feet, champagne and strawberries stuff. I am 44 years old for chrissake. I can do a little better than that. Here goes:

• Overtipping the overworked lunch waitress is sexy (and I mean just slipping a few extra bills under the sugar bowl without making a big showy deal of it).
  
  
• I do not miss smoking, but I do miss men lighting my cigarette.
  
  
• Whispering something sophisticated and funny in my ear at a dinner party is sexy.-Work Chinos are sexy. So are the men in them. I don't care about that beer belly, darlin'.
  
  
• Desire is sexy. I'm not talking about simply being horny, I'm talking about profound desire, the sort that says I want you. I want to be as close as two people can be, to draw you into me and put my mouth on your mouth and have you so completely that the edges between us blur.
  
  
• Taking both my hands in either of your hands and pulling them up above my head and holding them there with our fingers interlaced while we kiss in bed is sexy.
  
  
• The concept of coupling is sexy.
  
  
• I've watched many people climax. Almost all of them get a smoky satisfied look in the moment between the apex and the denouement--arguably the very essence of sexy.

The sexiest thing a man can do is love women for who they are, for their crow's feet and bad coffee and tears.

Writer Erin O'Brien comments on all things human.